The clip and clap of hundreds of footsteps violently echo through the metal walls. My heart feels as if it’s beating a thousand times a second, trying desperately to pounce out of my chest and run away to a safer place. “Hurry up”, the commander shouts at the top of his lungs. I could barely see him while wearing this thick mask. It was hard to breathe, not because of the heavy hunk of mask on my face, but the excitement. The anticipation was killing me slowly, Every step of the way, every thump and click reminded me how truly horrific this event is. Despite this, the overwhelming excitement in my body could not be contained. I was fidgety and filled with adrenaline. Each passing second felt like an eternity. This weapon could incinerate millions, yet here I was, pouncing with joy, so eager to take in a view of something most people considered a sin to this world and everyone in it.
I trudged out onto the deck. Faced with the ferocious view of the sea, waves slamming against the ship, I realised the gravity of the situation. What would happen to animals who lived in these waters, and the birds who flew so carefree. The people were right. This was the greatest sin in the world, and I’m going to be experiencing it, taking in the heat, the sounds and the absolute power of the bomb. My mates and I lined up on the deck, we sat down and waited for instruction. Then something horrifying started. “60,59,58,57… The ominous sound of the monotonous counting struck me like a roaring burst of thunder. Weirdly, I felt cold. I couldn’t think of anything but the consequences. What would happen to me, to others. I could no longer hear the crashing of the waves, or smell the salt in the air. All that mattered was the bomb. “28,27,26,25,24… The countdown is close to completion. All that excitement was gone, I was utterly foolish to think this was exciting. “10,9,8,7,6… I felt like throwing up. I was shivering with fear. “5,4,3,2,1 BOMB GONE!!! Now began the 15 second count up. “15,14,13,12,11… My heart pounds on my insides, thrashing violently. I felt nauseous. I desperately fought the urge to run away and cower in terror. “5,4,3,2,1 STAND UP, GOGGLES OFF AND TURN AROUND. I sprang up to my feet, ripping off my goggles and turned my body around faster than I ever have in my entire life.
It took a moment to actually take in the sight. It was exhilarating. The explosion was magnificent. First, a gargantuan hand of silky white smoke rose to reach for the sky. Streaks of flame lathered the hand in tattoos of fiery red and blisteringly hot orange. At the edge of the sky, the hand closed its fist and turned into molten glob of lava. It was dazzling, as if a second sun was birthed out of thin air. The doppelganger star displayed an immense array of vibrant colours, so elegant yet reminiscent of the bizarre sciences that led to this conclusion. The sun expanded at horrifying speeds, ending in the climactic release of the blood and sweat and tears of the thousands of people who dedicated years to this project. I was stunned, mortified, jaw dropped. There was no single emotion which could describe what I was feeling inside, but the outside was a different story. My skin was torched, I flinched when I touched it. It stung like a million bees, except the bees were charged with a million volts of electricity. It hurt and it wouldn’t stop hurting, even the air, with the slightest graze would boil my skin. It was unbearable, every second felt longer as the heat intensified. My eyes dried up, it felt like a desert. Even blinking was painful. I desperately tried to minimise the pain, but I hesitated to move, all I could do was stand still.
Despite the pain, I noticed something was off. The silence was immeasurable. The nonchalant chirping was gone. The birds, boiled alive, floated eerily in the water. The crackling of the waves, the melodic whistle of the ocean breeze, all gone. All that remained was the flaming dagger which stabbed through the clouds, but even that was completely silent. Then, like gunfire, a sudden boom hit the ship, rocking it back and forth. I ducked down in anguish. What was that? As if it were divine punishment, it forced me to my knees, shackled me to the floor. A distant ring slowly became stronger and stronger. I cried my lungs out, but I couldn’t hear it, my own voice. Even in my mind, the voice that had stood by my side, the voice that comforted me when others couldn’t, had vanished. Now, my mind was flooded with this ghastly ringing. The waves slammed into the boat, the oceans protested. We had poisoned these waters for years to come, and now, it sought to bring down its mighty power on us. This act of retribution was right and just, each and everyone one of us deserved punishment. We helped to explode this bomb, and now, we suffer the consequences.
The ringing wouldn’t stop, it kept ringing louder and louder. Though it was futile to even attempt, I screamed at the top of my lungs. What was I doing? No one would be able to save me, besides, what reason did they have? My head vibrated, It felt like my skull was going to burst open any moment. I tried to cover my ears, but it burned like hell. The air reeked of burnt metal and toxic gases. I scrambled up to my feet, every move I made had some painful way of lashing back. I scanned the area. What I saw shocked me to my very core. The people around me, those who I had learned to respect, those who I treated like family, flailing aimlessly on the ground. Like pathetic creatures, newborns who have never experienced true pain before, having just taken the most potent, and excruciating, form of pure destruction. I could feel how desperate their screams were, despite not being able to hear. A moment passed and things have only been amplified. The flames, growing more unbearable by the second. The mountain of smoke at the far horizon, expanding without any intention of stopping. It was hard to think with the constant ringing and constant pain. But somehow, I calmed down.
My body was in shambles, my brain tortured and forever traumatised, yet I was able to calm down. After all the horror I had witnessed, the rational part of my brain, well, what was left of it, made one final decision. I was tired, all I could think about right now is how good it would be to take a nice, long nap. I’ve always envied people who could sleep long hours. When you’re in the navy, especially in this new era of scientific prowess, even just one relaxing nap is a rare commodity. You work long strenuous hours, and at the end of the day, you get to sleep in a tiny, overpacked room with 8 other guys. All the pain, suffering. The tedious work I’ve done in past months has made me… tired. So, for possibly the last time, I close my eyes. The pitch black darkness could finally bring me peace, probably. I closed my eyelids and hoped for the best. Somehow, I still see the flames, the flames I helped to create. That’s weird, I thought to myself. I tried closing my eyes again, and then again, and again. But the flames lingered in my vision, teasing me. What was happening? I looked around, but there was nothing but flames. This must be a dream, It must all be a dream. I looked at my hands, but they weren’t there… Wait, Is that bone? It certainly looked like it. It’s as if the flesh was ripped off. It was mortifying. I closed my eyes but nothing happened. I looked down, it was all bone. I must be dreaming, stuff like this couldn’t happen in real life. This is all a fantasy, some cruel prank my brain has decided to play on me. Why was this happening? Haven’t I suffered enough? The burning, the ear shattering sounds. Haven’t I been punished enough? I just want to sleep, to sleep and to never wake up. This can’t be real, this can’t be happening. It’s not like I helped that much, I’m just an average sailor. I don’t deserve this right?… right?
